Month: September 2022

Leadership, SCA Life

If you want my advice . . .

Oswyn Swann

Although I haven’t sat my vigil yet, people have started giving me advice.

I am okay with that. For those that have, it is likely they won’t make my vigil or it was easier to grab me when they did. I am all in favor of advice. It is like feedback though. Earlier in my blog, I talk about feedback and advice is kind of like future-tense feedback. It is like giving feedback before you make it to the event that you might get feedback about. And that is a good thing.

Like feedback, you should give some thought to your advice. I have gotten a few of the old chestnuts so far. I understand the appeal of the old chestnut. After all, someone has to give that advice and if you don’t know the person well, giving tried and true advice is better than nothing. But really good advice takes forethought.

For instance, “look before you leap” is often good advice. But if I am not ever inclined to leap, it isn’t very practical advice. So give some thought to your advice. What do you know about the person you are giving advice to? Are they the kind of person who needs the warning/advice you are going to give? Is there different advice you might give that is more in line with the person’s likely actions/disposition?

Some old chestnuts are just not applicable. “Don’t take any wooden nickels” might have meant something at one time but my local farmer’s market allows you to exchange money for wooden tokens that the vendors do accept. In this particular case, “don’t take any wooden nickels” is the opposite of what should happen. I mentioned in my liminal spaces entry that I have to parse the advice to see what is actually being said.

I fall into the trap as well. Having something pithy to say feels smart. My normal advice is “make your presence normal, not notable.” But for someone who is already omnipresent, is this really the best advice I could give? No. I should spend some time thinking about it.

I have found the best advice so far as been as a conversation, not a one-liner. Share your experience. “When I started out, I did this and this is what happened.” Or at least start a dialogue.

I was asked, “what advice would you like?” I replied, “I need advice on how to peer. How do I evaluate someone’s work?” The person said, “we wouldn’t have chosen you if you already didn’t know how to do that.” That may be but since I am asking, I am not confident in myself. So let’s have a conversation about what asked. Maybe our conversation will illuminate something I was unsure about or give me a point of view I hadn’t thought about. Maybe our conversation will give each of us something to think about.

Some of the best advice so far was also given to my wife. I think that is important in this case. It never hurts to remind me that she is important. It doesn’t hurt to give her advice on how to be the spouse of a peer when she isn’t one.

I have framed this in response to becoming a Peer but really this can apply whenever you give advice. Think about what the other person needs to hear, based on their circumstances. Think about what they actually asked to know more about.

I do truly thank everyone who has given me advice so far. It has not fallen on deaf ears. I am taking it in, deciding what it really means and how/whether I should act on it. These are all valid exercises.

Just some more thoughts while I am in this liminal space.

Leadership, SCA Life

Vigilant to Peer – the liminal space

Oswyn Swann

For the past several weeks, I have been a vigilant and this past weekend (Sept 3, 2022), I was at an event and the Order of the Laurel was called up. I didn’t go with them. One of the Laurels approached me later and asked, “why didn’t you go up?”

“I am not a laurel yet.” I replied.

“A formality,” they challenged.

“An important formality,” I answered. And with that, the conversation stopped.

I have heard of times when a vigilant is basically hauled by the shirt collar up with the order or thrust into a peerage meeting before they have even been officially made a peer. To each their own I suppose but I think it is wrong. I think the time between vigilant and peer is important in many ways and when it is allowed to happen, the vigilant should be allowed to experience that time.

The making of a peer is an initiation ceremony and a rite of passage. It is the ending of one part of one’s life and the beginning of another. Western society has precious few of these anymore and we should ensure the ones we have left are treated as meaningful and important. The SCA has decided (most times) that this is important so we put people on vigil.

The whole point to a vigil is introspection. In the Arthurian sense, the vigil before knighthood was a time to pray, purify, and make one right and whole with God. For only in a state of Grace, could one be made a Knight. But still in the SCA sense, the vigil is a time to think about how one might be worthy of the honor to be bestowed, what it will mean to be a peer, how things might be different as a peer, and to process the variety of advice one will receive. We like to think of the “vigil” as that discreet moment in time that one has their “party”. But I think it is unlikely that a person will have the time to process these important questions in the few hours that the “vigil” lasts. As I am sure many peers will agree, it may take years or decades to fully understand the transformations. The vigil lasts until the person knows they are ready.

Part of being a vigilant would also be observation. How does one do these tasks? Will it be with seriousness or mirth? As a stoic or an epicurian? What tasks am I being asked to do? You look with different eyes at many things. As a non-peer, seeing the order called up has a very different meaning than as a vigilant and then again as a peer of that order. Is there an unconscious order of precedence at play? Do certain members defer to others? Do certain members hang to the back or push to the front? Are newer peers expected to speak last or first? There are many unwritten rules that could be there (regardless of whether they actually are).

Lastly, in my case, obviously, the Order knew what was happening. At any time, I could have been pulled aside and told, “so-and-so will be put on vigil today. Please come up with the Order.” That to me would have been clear sign that the distinction between vigilant and peer is a thin line indeed. I might not have access to the lists yet but everyone in the order knew that. A private word to put me on the same information level as the others would have been proof positive that I was on the same level.

I don’t really mind though. I am enjoying this time between non-peer and peer. I am looking with new eyes how things are done and what that means for me. Because I can honestly say I am not yet a peer, I have some freedom. I don’t YET have the responsibilities of a peer but I know they are coming. I can spend the time thinking, observing, and processing things without having to do something about it yet.

Others have and will argue that this is a false division. You were put on vigil because you were recognized as the peer you always were. I even asked about that. “I would like advice on how to peer.” The response was (in a nice way), “you already know how to do that because we wouldn’t have made you one without it.” There is a world of difference between what I think I know and what you think I know. I would like to hear your take on it. Maybe you will say something I didn’t know or think about. Maybe we can have a conversation about the topic using your advice as a starting point. I am new at this. Assume I know nothing. At the very least, we will then have a common set of facts to work from.

I believe part of being a vigilant is also parsing the advice given. Let’s take for instance the common advice of “don’t take a dependent for a year.” Is there something magical about a year? Is there something wrong about taking a dependent before a year? The real advice is “take the time to learn who you are as a peer before taking a dependent.” That is the parse of the advice. The advice also reinforces that a vigilant needs time to understand what being a peer means to them.

In some ways, this is a similar space as between engaged and married. Sometimes, with some people, wearing that ring changes everything about them. Sometimes, the transition is seamless. Ideally, the space between engaged and married allows for time to think, grow, process, and accept, regardless of how ready you thought you might be.

I find the space between vigilant and peer to be similar space. I am watching, learning, and thinking about a lot, even with the small amount of advice I have been given. Even with the all of the time I have thought about making it to this status. I think that is important place for any vigilant. Soon, this space will be gone. Allow me to enjoy it while it remains.