Yesterday, I posted on facebook asking for resources about discovering one’s personal style. After a few replies that were on topic, it quickly became off topic so I deleted it. The off-topics weren’t bad; the people were trying to be helpful. But they were off-topic. I didn’t want suggestions of what I could do now. I wanted resources to learn what my style might be. Resources to learn what looks good on me. Throwing a blazer over what I normally wear doesn’t answer that question. It might still look bad on me. I do appreciate the attempts though.
I am writing this to answer why though. Why am I looking at this topic? In my normal work life, I wear khakis and a company polo shirt. 5 days per week. It is very functional and requires no thought other than adding a new colored shirt every other year. I mostly sit in my office, with little face-to-face contact every day. Therefore, I have 0 need to dress any differently in my day-to-day.
I want to do this for a few reasons. The biggest one is to deal with my own negative self-image. How would dressing stylishly do that? Ideally, I would look different and better in my own eyes. Once I discover what looks good on me, I hope to learn to like the look of the guy who looks back at me. I hope that others see that style and think it is interesting. For the most part, I don’t need to look at myself and I definitely don’t want to look at myself. I am near-sighted enough that my morning routine is largely a blur in the mirror. The times I do see myself clearly, I keep that to as short of a time as possible. The number of people who believe I look good (in whatever context that might be) can be counted on one hand. So I want to feel better about myself, at least occasionally.
I also want to further distinguish myself from my father. Given our recent relationship (okay last decade or so), I want to ensure I don’t look like him. And I do think I look like him. So I want to dress radically differently them him. The style I would like would be expensive so it would have to be slow.
Outside of work, my normal clothes are jeans and a t-shirt, maybe a sweatshirt if it is cold, and my ball cap. If it is some place semi-nice, I do have my khakis and I will wear a bold colored t-shirt under a button down. I do have a few suits for really nice occasions. But living in a college town, I can get away with a much more casual dress, even to some place nice.
One of the suggestions is look at people who you think are stylish and try to emulate them. The problem is the same as for many women; the male role-models are unrealistic for most body types. I don’t have the sleek, athletic build of a Hollywood superstar. I doubt a form-fitted suit would look good on me. But looking at GQ’s top 50 best dressed men of 2022, I would like to pull off the look of a Daniel Craig, Matt Smith, Josh O’Conner, or Taika Waititi (when dressed for the red carpet). But I don’t have their body shape.
I also look at what some of my friends do. I am envious of my Baronry of the Flame friends who dress up on occasion for the heck of it.
To the best of my ability to know, I believe I have a triangular shaped body. Not uncommon for an aging man. I like the look of tweed suits with bold waistcoats or shirts. I like suspenders. I like well pressed trousers with turned up hems. Becky thinks I look good in single-breasted jackets with double vents. I would love to wear interesting colored ties, tied with unusual knots. I don’t want to be a head-turner but someone that after the first glance, you go “he looks interesting.”
Anyway, the quest will be a look one, especially since there is no real need. But even men have body image issues so I wanted to share that.